What will be your reply "When someone very special hurts you so deeply, causes tears in your eyes..and ask, "What happen ??""Click Here For Visit A Exclusive World of Internet
Tips to Improve your writing
1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
2. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
3. Employ the vernacular.
4. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
5. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
6. Remember to never split an infinitive.
7. Contractions aren't necessary.
8. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
9. One should never generalize.
10. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
11. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
12. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
13. Be more or less specific.
14. Understatement is always best.
15. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
16. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
17. The passive voice is to be avoided.
18. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
19. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
20. Who needs rhetorical questions?
21. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
22. Don't never use a double negation.
23. capitalize every sentence and remember always end it with point
24. Do not put statements in the negative form.
25. Verbs have to agree with their subjects.
26. Proofread carefully to see if you words out.
27. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
28. A writer must not shift your point of view.
29. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.)
30. Don't overuse exclamation marks!!
31. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to the irantecedents.
32. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
33. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
34. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
35. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
36. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
37. Always pick on the correct idiom.
38. The adverb always follows the verb.
39. Last but not least, avoid clichés like the plague; They're old hat; seek viable alternatives.
The Things Which Are Only Learned From College
1. Quarters are like gold.
2. Be creative in the dining hall.
3. Flip tops become as important as soap, shampoo, etc.
4. You will never find so many excuses for a bucket.
5. Asleep by 2:30 am is an early night.
6. New additions to the food groups: Mountain Dew, Doritos, Ben & Jerry's, Ho-Hos and Oreos
7. Make sure your alarm clock has back-up batteries.
8. Duct tape heals all wounds. (If not, scotch or masking tape will suffice for awhile.)
9. Showers become less important.
10. Sleep becomes more important.
11. Two meals a day are standard. One for some!
12. Recycling becomes synonymous with laundry ("Oh, my jeans can last until Christmas...there's only a *little* bit of mud on them...").
13. You can never make too many meals in a hot pot (or pizelle maker).
14. 10 minutes is more than enough time to get ready for your first class (not that this is anything really new).
15. Going to the mailbox was never an ego booster/breaker before.
16. It takes more than one person to carry your laundry, books, trash, or alcohol.
17. If the lecture hall is big enough, get someone else's notes.
18. You begin to nap again (also not new).
19. Your bill in the bookstore will almost equal tuition.
20. Isn't it amazing that the book your professor wrote is always required for his class?
21. Labs used to be fun.
22. T.A. used to stand for teaching assistant, now, for terribly articulated.
23. Squirt guns equal stress relief.
24. E-mail becomes your second language.
25. Frat parties are exactly like they are in the movies.
26. Ten-page papers used to sound impossible, now they're a Godsend.
27. You never realized so many people are smarter than you.
28. You never realized so many people are dumber than you.
29. Professors are like celebrities: you see them, but they never see you.
30. Western Europe could be wiped out by a horrible plague and you'd never know, but you could recite last week's episode of "Friends" verbatim.
31. See every movie under $3 that your campus provides; it's actually proportional to the amount of money you have.
32. Roadtrip whenever possible.
33. Pick up all new lingo.
34. Bum rides, money, notes and snacks as much as you can get them.
35. Don't burn bridges, especially if he's good in Biology.
36. Plain pasta never constituted a complete meal before.
37. The health service attendants are there because they couldn't make it in a real hospital, never ever forget that.
38. Forget putting the toilet seat down,you just pray that they flush.
39. Frisbee becomes a contact sport.
40. Care packages rank up there with birthdays.
41. College girls are the same as high school girls, just with more freedom...and no curfew.
42. It was never this bad when you got sick.
43. Pop a vitamin and breakfast is covered.
44. Learn to love your roommate, especially when he leaves you the room.
45. You always thought that worshipping the porcelain god was just an expression...it's not!
46. You'll learn more about male genital than you ever thought necessary, guys talk more about that than women and excitement put together.
47. Beware the freshman 15, or in some cases, the freshman cup size.
48. Even though the beds are long, they are also extra narrow.
49. Things that were a huge deal in high school are now commonplace.
50. You never thought you would share so much about yourself with people you have known for such a short time.
51. Computer games go in and out faster than the latest fashions.
52. Any game can be made into a drinking game.
53. Disney movies are more than just classics.
54. Find one thing you like in the dining hall and go with it.
55. You will hear more stupid..........
Thirtyt Tree fun things for Professors to do on the first day of Class
1. Bring a CPR dummy to class and announce that it will be the teaching assistant for the semester. Assign it an office and office hours.
2. Point the overhead projector at the class. Demand each student's name, rank, and serial number.
3. Tell students that you'll fail them if they cheat on exams or "fake the funk".
4. Announce that you need to deliver two lectures that day, and deliver them in rapid-fire auctioneer style.
5. Pick out random students, ask them questions, and time their responses with a stop watch. Record their times in your grade book while muttering "tsk, tsk".
6. Wear a hood with one eyehole. Periodically make strange gurgling noises.
7. Sneeze on students in the front row and wipe your nose on your tie.
8. After confirming everyone's names on the roll, thank the class for attending "Advanced Astrodynamics 690" and mention that yesterday was the last day to drop.
9. After turning on the overhead projector, clutch your chest and scream "MY PACEMAKER!"
10. Wear a pointed Kaiser helmet and a monocle and carry a riding crop.
11. Gradually speak softer and softer and then suddenly point to a student and scream "YOU! WHAT DID I JUST SAY?"
12. Announce to students that their entire grades will be based on a single-question oral final exam. Imply that this could happen at any moment.
13. Deliver your lecture through a hand puppet. If a student asks you a question directly, say in a high-pitched voice, "The Professor can't hear you, you'll have to ask *me*, Winky Willy".
14. Bring a small dog to class. Tell the class he's named "Boogers McGee" and is your "mascot". Whenever someone asks a question, walk over to the dog and ask it, "What'll be, McGee?"
15. If someone asks a question, walk silently over to their seat, hand them your piece of chalk, and ask, "Would YOU like to give the lecture, Mr. Smartypants?"
16. Every so often, freeze in mid sentence and stare off into space for several minutes. After a long, awkward silence, resume your sentence and proceed normally.
17. Wear a "virtual reality" helmet and strange gloves. When someone asks a question, turn in their direction and make throttling motions with your hands.
18. Wear mirrored sunglasses and speak only in Turkish. Ignore all questions.
19. Ask students to call you "Tinkerbell" or "Surfin' Bird".
20. Pass out dental floss to students and devote the lecture to oral hygiene.
21. Announce that the entire 32-volume Encyclopedia Britannica will be required reading for your class. Assign a report on Volume 1, Aardvark through Armenia, for next class.
22. Play "Kumbaya" on the banjo.
23. Have a band waiting in the corner of the room. When anyone asks a question, have the band start playing and sing an Elvis song.
24. Ask occasional questions, but mutter "as if you gibbering simps would know" and move on before anyone can answer.
25. Mention in passing that you're wearing rubber underwear.
26. Show a video on medieval torture implements to your calculus class. Giggle throughout it.
27. Announce "you'll need this", and write the suicide prevention hotline number on the board.
28. Ask the class to read Jenkins through Johnson of the local phone book by the next lecture. Vaguely imply that there will be a quiz.
29. Have one of your graduate students sprinkle flower petals ahead of you as you pace back and forth.
30. Turn off the lights, play a tape of crickets chirping, and begin singing spirituals.
31. Jog into class, rip the textbook in half, and scream, "Are you pumped? ARE YOU PUMPED? I CAN'T HEEEEEEAR YOU!"
32. Ask for a volunteer for a demonstration. Ask them to fill out a waiver as you put on a lead apron and light a blowtorch.
33. Ask students to list their favorite show tunes on a signup sheet.
Twenty Eight fun things to do during an Exam
You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.
1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.
2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.
4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.
5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm so sure you can hear me thinking. " Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
6. Bring cheerleaders.
7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand any of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who are you? Where's the regular guy?"
8. Bring a Game Boy (or Game Gear, etc. . . ). Play with the volume at max level.
9. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
10. Bring pets.
11. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
12. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas. "If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.
13. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.
14. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
15. Come down with a BAD case of Turet's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.
16. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.
17. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
18. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
19. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.
20. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.
21. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
22. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB. BABE. etc. . ).
23. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
24. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Forget this!" and walk out triumphantly.
25. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i. e. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink)
26. Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).
27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
28. Comment on how
Fun Pics
Goods Must be More.......Yea Dil Mange More.......
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Don't even try to eat my hand.........
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Cigarette Smoking is just like this...........
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Hi, I am e-mail, any one want 2 catch me ???..try .......
Bollywood Laughter
Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gam bloopers!
1) Amitabh is using the Nokia communicator in 1992 whereas Nokia itself launched it from 1998 onwards. May be he is a secret test dummy for Nokia!
2) Amitabh singing "aye kya bolti tu" in Diwali of 1992 whereas the song was released in 1997 in the movie Ghulam. Guess he has esp.
3) But The Mother Of All Flaws In The Movie K3G is when Hrithik is kid he has 10 fingers...when he grows up he has Eleven
4) Last ball of the cricket match. 1 ball and 6 runs needed. Guess what, the ball is shining and unused !!
5) The fatso Laddu turns into Hrithik 10 years later, however Shahrukh, Kajol, Dadi, Nani and Johny Lever are the same after 10 years!!
Q: What will a drunkard say after seeing the movie? A: Kabhi Whiskey Kabhie Rum
Rangeela
Aamir Khan tells his friend that he will take Urmila Matondkar for a Chinese meal. Strangely when they are in the restaurant, Aamir Khan orders usal pav etc. What's happened to the noodle & chowmein?
Khiladiyon Ka Khiladi
Akshay Kumar boards a Jet Airways flight to America. Well well - some promotion for our Indian Jet Airways - since when did they start flying abroad?
Raja Hindustani
Navneet Nishan has a short hair before marriage. But after tying the knot, overnight she acquires waist-length hair. What a hair raising experience!!
Raja
Dilip Tahil empties a can of petrol over Madhuri. Minutes later, Sanjay Kapoor takes the same can and pours it over Dilip Tahil. That's what I call a autofill!
Guddu
Manisha & Shahrukh are seen hanging on a parachute during a song. But when the song ends, they land down on the Glider. What a switch above sea level!
Jung
Rambha files a case against Ajay Devgan accusing him of rape and produces 3 photographs to prove her claim. However in the three photos, she's wearing three different dresses. So I guess it must be a fashion show cum rape going on!!
Tere Mere Sapne
Priya Gill is doing her B.A. But at the bus stop, she is carrying her electrical technology thesis by B.L.Theraja. What an electrifying interest.
Ccall Center - PPL @ Work
Call centre jobs: people wonder why they r paid so much.............for just being on the phone. Take a look:
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Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer "No."
Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
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Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
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Customer:: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done."
Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."
Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer:: "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."
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Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support:: ?!%#$
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Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
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Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer:: "A white one."
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Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."
Customer:: "How do you spell that?"
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Tech Support: "Is your computer on a separate telephone line?"
Customer: "No." (clicks the button to log on to our service)
Tech Support:: "Well then we can't-"
Customer:: "It says 'no dial tone'."
Tech Support: "That's because you're on the line with me right now. You need to-"
Customer:: "No, that's not it. It does this all the time. I just have to try a few times, and it will let me through."
Tech Support:: "No, ma'am. It's not even trying to dial right now because you're on the phone with me."
Customer: "It must be busy. I'll try again later."
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Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"
Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store."
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Tech Support:: "What operating system are you running?"
Customer: "Pentium."
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Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."
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Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."
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Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"
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Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
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Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
*
Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?"
Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support:: "Well?"
Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"
13 Differences between Women and Men
1. NAMES:
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
2. EATING OUT:
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want the change back.
When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3. MONEY:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
4. BATHROOMS:
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
5. ARGUMENTS:
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
6. CATS:
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
7. FUTURE:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
8. SUCCESS:
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
9. MARRIAGE:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
10. DRESSING UP:
A woman will dress up to go 4 shopping, to water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and read the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
11. NATURAL:
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
12. OFFSPRING:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
13. FINAL THOUGHT:
Any married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing
School Gifts
It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.
The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." "
That's right" the boy said, "but how did you know?"
"Oh, just a wild guess," she said.
The next pupil was the candy shop owner's daughter.
The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets."
"That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl.
"Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.
The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue.
"Is it wine?" she asked.
"No," the boy replied, with some excitement.
The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue.
"Is it champagne?" she asked.
"No," the boy replied, with more excitement.
The teacher took one more taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?"
With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy !"
How much funny in life ?
Don't Try to claim mountain ................
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A Foreign Company dedicate his Scateboad for Ice Cream......
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Love of Mother and Daughter Neck Symbol of Love
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She did not went to Billu Barber for her Hair cut.......get well soon...
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Do Married with Tall Person for Extra Romance.......
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| Who is Tall............. count it... |
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Secrete Meeting is Running bad fully of Alian............
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It is a New Style of Operating Computer With Sleepy mode............
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I have no artifical wheel...........I have a wheel given by nature..made by man.................
Nokia Plans to Launch 40 Biodegradable Green Mobile Phones
Nokia has announced a plan to launch 40 new biodegradable so called Green Mobile Phones in Indian this year. Company claims that the biodegradable mobile phones handsets would easily be recycled.
The recycling process is aimed to reduce the amount of other harmful components that otherwise pollute and damage environment. Nokia is also planning to introduce a biodegradable phone cover and recyclable batteries which otherwise use lithium and cadmium which are harmful substances.
Nokia has developed their first biodegradable Green Mobile Phone viz Nokia 3110 which uses about 65% recyclable materials and the company is already working to promote recycled mobile phones in USA markets.
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